So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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