I must be too annoying 4 u.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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