he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
