About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
