I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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