I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.