and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for