Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

youre so sexy i want your bod

(410): View more from Maryland

dude, did you turn gay?

(949): View more from California

heather?

(410): View more from Maryland

this is jacob

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(949): youre so sexy i want your bod (410): dude, did you turn gay? (949): heather? (410): this is jacob http://tfl.nu/gn2b

Replies (14) Good night (1193) Bad night (2083)
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(571): View more from Virginia

You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Darwin at his finest.

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(571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd

Replies (25) Good night (5878) Bad night (1221)
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(813): View more from Florida

How am I a tease?

(1-813): View more from Florida

Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.

(813): View more from Florida

ONLY PART OF IT.

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(813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. http://tfl.nu/b7xa

Replies (45) Good night (8429) Bad night (1625)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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(302): I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years. http://tfl.nu/sw0p

Replies (4) Good night (810) Bad night (3350)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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(443): Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had. http://tfl.nu/2xlf

Replies (28) Good night (8098) Bad night (1291)
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(208): View more from Idaho

She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

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(208): She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement. http://tfl.nu/tf3a

Replies (6) Good night (2551) Bad night (1026)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life

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(907): Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life http://tfl.nu/0u5y

Replies (2) Good night (1469) Bad night (444)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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(508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252

Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (417)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.

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(602): I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College. http://tfl.nu/47ac

Replies (9) Good night (1108) Bad night (962)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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(205): I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will http://tfl.nu/rm9j

Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (403)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances

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(775): He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances http://tfl.nu/ldl8

Replies (14) Good night (583) Bad night (902)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?

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(918): He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS? http://tfl.nu/pnaa

Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (487)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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(304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed. http://tfl.nu/uiwu

Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (292)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

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(541): I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila. http://tfl.nu/lzm1

Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (253)
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(707): View more from California

Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid

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(707): Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid http://tfl.nu/1mf7

Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (255)

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