just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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