And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.