Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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  (202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/bgl4
  Replies (11) Good night (1428) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think i peed on brittanys purse

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  (314): I think i peed on brittanys purse http://tfl.nu/cbx1
  Replies (10) Good night (1939) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5433) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.

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  (904): someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude. http://tfl.nu/xhi6
  Replies (21) Good night (852) Bad night (4164)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

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  (563): I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical" http://tfl.nu/2xah
  Replies (20) Good night (1287) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2277) Bad night (4300)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8785) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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  (281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr
  Replies (14) Good night (822) Bad night (2804)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

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  (617): Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/pm4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1391) Bad night (3031)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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  (630): But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them http://tfl.nu/vxlz
  Replies (10) Good night (5430) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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  (724): i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand. http://tfl.nu/fmi9
  Replies (6) Good night (2378) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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  (+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6
  Replies (13) Good night (3689) Bad night (1437)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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  (519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx
  Replies (11) Good night (3955) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just blew my weed a kiss

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  (828): I just blew my weed a kiss http://tfl.nu/vers
  Replies (6) Good night (1079) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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  (215): they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness http://tfl.nu/sk3k
  Replies (3) Good night (1745) Bad night (554)

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