The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.