You just made me feel so damn special
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
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if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
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Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is