Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.

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(586): The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now. http://tfl.nu/lukr

Replies (9) Good night (1028) Bad night (552)
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(305): View more from Florida

so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator

(954): View more from Florida

you didnt stop her?

(305): View more from Florida

too entertaining

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(305): so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator (954): you didnt stop her? (305): too entertaining http://tfl.nu/7hz6

Replies (49) Good night (4893) Bad night (711)
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(410): View more from Maryland

a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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(410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu

Replies (40) Good night (1855) Bad night (7517)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph

Replies (92) Good night (13925) Bad night (1741)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

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(608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him. http://tfl.nu/b6v7

Replies (49) Good night (9088) Bad night (1159)
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(480): View more from Arizona

YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

(602): View more from Arizona

I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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(480): YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST (602): I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise! http://tfl.nu/2ck7

Replies (36) Good night (7156) Bad night (1116)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"

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(402): My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet" http://tfl.nu/f79o

Replies (16) Good night (3583) Bad night (1209)
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(519): View more from Ontario

all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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(519): all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat" http://tfl.nu/ukas

Replies (14) Good night (4586) Bad night (1406)
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(314): View more from Missouri

For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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(314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx

Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (4662)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6

Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (2328)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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(519): I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen http://tfl.nu/o99g

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (949)
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(830): View more from Texas

Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

(210): View more from Texas

Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

(830): View more from Texas

drunken problem solving at its finest

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(830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e

Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (411)
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(347): View more from New York

Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?

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(347): Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it? http://tfl.nu/mhp5

Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (358)
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(386): View more from Florida

Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.

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(386): Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it. http://tfl.nu/is7x

Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (413)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back

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(505): It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back http://tfl.nu/ajiv

Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (580)

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