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• (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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• (646): View more from New York

  miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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• (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care

  (315): View more from New York

  I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.

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• (585): View more from New York

  AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"

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