well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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