R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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