Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize