hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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