I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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