when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
