I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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