Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
