you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
