i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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