Whod you bang
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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