i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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