Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
