Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
