I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I AM VODKA MAN
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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