I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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