dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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