is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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