just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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