Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
