A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
