we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize