Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
