I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
