No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
