woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
