i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize