I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
