During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
