i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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