Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
