im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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