You work out of a Hotel?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
