This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
