I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
