Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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