good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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