just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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