PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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