Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
