so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
