This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
