So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
