So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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