Dual....:-)
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
