when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
