tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize