that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
