I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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