I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
