It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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