matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
