I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
COCAINE IS GR8
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize