Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
