The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
