After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
