Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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