When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
