the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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