have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
